Oprah, the Piano Man and his Wife

This past weekend, I saw a promo ad for Oprah's Monday show. Billy Joel was the guest and it said something about his wife and a visit to their New York home. All I really heard was the Billy Joel part because when the Piano Man is in the house, I am there. So, for the first time in my life, I recorded Oprah.

After starting the show with a rousing rendition of "Only the Good Die Young," Joel sat on Oprah's couch and to say he was reserved would be an understatement. He answered her inane questions with one-word responses and just seemed like he didn't want to be there. He clearly was not promoting anything, so why was he there?

After the first commercial break, it all became clear. Joel's wife Katie was now on the couch with Billy and Oprah and she was taking center stage. After some small talk about how they met, which would be embarassing for any self-respecting middle-aged man (more on that in a second), they played the videotaped Joel home tour. Billy did not participate in the tour and Katie used singular pronouns - I, me, my - to describe everything in the house. The tour included Katie showing us how to make meat loaf.

Back in the studio, Oprah unveiled a new cookbook that Katie had created. Ahhh, a new cookbook. Now, it was all coming together.

Billy Joel, rock-and-roll legend and 32 years older than his wife, agreed to be on Oprah to shill for his young wife's cookbook. It was embarassing for the guy and I actually pitied someone whose ex-wife is Christie Brinkley. Strange.

Even more embarassing, maybe, was the conversation about how they met. Apparently, they crossed paths in a bar and Billy started making small talk with Katie. She had no idea who he was and, when she found out, believed Billy Joel's only two hits were "Uptown Girl" and "Piano Man." Did I mention she is 32 years younger than Joel, who is approaching 60? Joel's daughter is five years younger than his wife.

Throughout this painful interview, Joel rarely spoke and made various facial expressions that seemed to say, "Eh, what are you going to do? Do I have to explain that I'm going through all this because she is smokin' hot?"

Classic line of the show came from Billy Joel: "I would have wanted to marry her if she was 30 years older than me." Uh-huh. Well, lucky for you, Billy Joel, that she just happens to be 30 years younger and gorgeous. Funny how things work out that way.

I was waiting for her to say she would have married him even if he wasn't fantastically rich. Didn't happen, though. The show was a bore and kind of pathetic. Note to self: Never record Oprah again.